MOVING IN TOGETHER AS COUPLES; 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOTE AND EXPECT IN MARRIAGE.
Now that you've decided to tie 'the knot' and move in together with the 'love of your life', there are things you must expect and prepare yourself for if you intend to have a blissful marriage where mutual love, respect, oneness, and harmony thrives.
Here are 10 things to expect in marriage,
1. EXPECT TO SEE BAD HABITS: You will always get to discover more habits about your partner. No matter how well you know your partner during the course of your commitment, there are many things especially (habits) you will still discover about him/her when you move in together as a couple.
No one is perfect. Your partner will always fall short. No one is without any weaknesses or bad habits. They will always be bad habits, it could be not washing the dishes after eating, untidy, not taking out the garbage, and lots more.
No matter what the habits might be, try not to be harsh with your partner when you seek improvement in any area of his or her life.
Communicate lovingly to your partner on how to unlearn these bad habits, and relearn new good habits. Don't demand instant change in their lifestyle, be patient a bit, and give them time to fight these bad habits. Again, do it lovingly.
2. HANDLING DIFFERENCES: There will always be differences among couples. Individual preferences will exist.
Thus, making adjustments may not be easy. What if s/he likes sleeping with the light on and you like it turned off?
What if s/he is a vegetarian and you're not one? What if he prefers cold meals while you prefer hot meals? What if he/she is the clingy type, and you are the kind that values your space? How do you intend to handle it?
Handling differences is not easy but a couple should be smart enough to understand their differences and handle them without allowing them to bring issues into the home.
Preferences should be put into consideration and adjustments should be made to suit everyone.
We are wired differently, so do not expect your partner to love everything you love. You cannot equally share the same hobbies, likes, dislikes, and interests, with your partner.
There will always be differences in preferences, and you have to accept these differences in your home. You and your partner have to adapt and adjust to each other's preferences, and also compromise for each other, so your home will become beauty-full just as you are.
3. THE COMING OF KIDS: Young ones are amazing creatures. Having the privilege to bring forth a tiny-looking perfectly designed masterpiece is an amazing thing, but these masterpiece creatures will divide the full focus and attention you gave your spouse before their arrival. The primary love language of babies is 'attention'.
Your total focus won't be necessarily on your spouse anymore, and it won't be easy to strike a balance, but you just have to do so and create quality time for both, especially for the 'love of your life'.
Men, be more loving, kind, and caring to your wife the moment she gets pregnant and throughout the childbirth period, and never stop. As a man, you've got to understand the fact that, they will be no sexual intercourse, in the first few weeks, sometimes months after child delivery, kindly give her time to work on her body.
Pregnancy changes a lot in a woman's body, and it takes time for her to return to her old shape(most times they never do). As the 'Head of the home', be there for your wife and the newly born creature and treat both of them with intrinsic worth and respect.
Women strike a balance between taking care of their baby, and body and creating time for their husband, creating time for rest too.
4. MONEY ISSUES: The bills have to be paid. So before moving in, understand that money is much needed in marriage. Paying bills and meeting needs is a reoccurring event in our daily lives, and in marriage, it's even more. School fees, cable bills, baby items, children collections, electricity bills, vacation bills, food bills, house rent, and lots more.
Love won't pay the bills. As a man, prepare to foot most of the bills as the head of the home. Work and invest smartly. As a woman, don't depend on your man to pay all the bills and meet the needs in the home. Don't cast your cares upon a man, he isn't God. God admonishes us to work, that he will bless the work of our hands.
Ma'am work, and assist your man, work and contribute to the running of the home, don't be a liability to him in any form, be an asset, always!
No matter how you are deeply in love with your partner, bonded in friendship, and high understanding of each other, they will be times when meeting needs and paying bills will bring slight friction and disagreement in your home. No matter what happens, deal with it maturely. Treat your partner with intrinsic worth and respect.
Importantly, talk about each other financial situation, how the bills will be paid, and if it has to be split, what percentage should each party bring.
5. VISITS OF EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS: When you marry, an extended family from both ends will always want to visit once in a while. How long an extended family stays in your home should be decided by you and your spouse.
You and your spouse can't change the fact that extended family members will visit your home, but you and your spouse can determine the duration of their stay.
Will housing an extended family for a while be a great idea? Can an extended family visit and stay as long as they want? Can friends visit regularly or should it be once in a while? Should extended family members be given a timeframe for staying in your home because of privacy purposes?
You and your spouse should decide on these things, and both of you must be in agreement on whatever you settle on.
6. HOUSEHOLD CHORES AND RESPONSIBILITIES: As you are moving in together, discuss house chores and responsibilities with your spouse. Discuss house chores each of you would love to handle. There is much responsibility in marriage. You and your spouse should be actively involved in the daily running of your home.
7. CHALLENGES: There is no marriage on earth without any challenge. Challenges will come. It won't be rosy in all seasons of your marriage. The chips will be down at a certain point, but never give challenges the power to steal the joy in your home, or destroy what you have built over the years and still building.
Challenges like loss of investment, loss of a job, having a hard time with one of your children in parenting, sickness, etc, these things may happen, but the good part is that these challenges won't last forever, they will always be a turnaround of events for the better.
In all seasons of your marriage, notwithstanding the challenges, stay true to your commitment to your partner, and respect the vows you will make at the altar.
8. THE PRESENCE OF TEMPTATION: Being married won't drive away temptation. Being married won't stop admiration from the opposite sex, It won't stop people from showing interest in you. You need a high level of discipline to avoid falling for any sexual temptation. You need to avoid deep conversations with the opposite sex on social media. Create boundaries. Respect boundaries.
It may not be easy, but avoid giving in to temptation no matter the offer. Staying faithful won't come very easy, but you've got to control yourself and respect your spouse and the vows you will make at the altar.
9. SETTLING DISPUTES: The truth is, you will not be on the same page with your spouse on all the days of your marriage. They will be slight disagreements and disputes on some occasions.
Settling disputes is not always so easy especially if you end up with a spouse who shuts himself/herself out whenever there is a slight disagreement.
Disagreements will happen, and settling disagreements in a peaceful and lovely way is an art every couple should learn to prevent their marriage from becoming toxic.
No matter what happens, try not to hold a grudge against your spouse. Try and settle any disagreement the day it happens. Don't allow anything to rob you of enjoying the bliss of sleeping in your spouse's arms.
10. EXPECT TO BASK IN MARITAL BLISS: Prepare your mind to make beautiful, meaningful, memorable memories with your spouse regularly.
Look forward to the orgasmic experiences during lovemaking, the breakfast in bed, the romantic moves, the couple dance, the picnics, the movie nights, the vacations together along with your kids, and the many beautiful memories awaiting you.
Picture yourself along with your spouse after more than 40 years of marriage, and how s/he will still look beautiful in your eyes. Work towards 'staying in love' with your spouse and basking in marital bliss.
Marriage is hard work, it's work that one must show up daily, without taking any breaks. As you are close to saying 'I do' to the 'love of your life', don't forget to show up daily, and be at your best.
There are 'seven wonders in the world', and you can become one to the 'love of your life'.
I wish you a harmonious and blissful marriage.
Do have a blessed day, Best of Grace in all you do.