Relationship 7 PRINCIPLESOF "THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK" BY JOHN M.GOTTMAN

7 principlesof "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work"
By John M.Gottman

1ENHANCE YOUR LOVE MAPS

You can only truly love someone if you know them well.

Build your Love Maps
Use the book to interview your spouse like a reporter to find out about their current friends & rivals,events that they dread or look forward to,current hopes and stresses.

Your goal is to gather facts for a broad snapshot of your partners life and start building your love maps. Do not judge or give advice.

Love maps quiz

Play the love maps quiz to test how well you know your spouse and to deepen your mutual understanding.

Gottman provides 60 questions you can use. Pick 20 questions Write down the answers, then check with your spouse if you got them rightthe person with the higher score wins.

Self-exploration exercise

Do this self-exploration exercise to understand yourselves better individually and as a couple. You need to block off uninterrupted time, and do it across a few sittings:

Go through the 27 questions in the book regarding (a) your past successes and how they shaped you, (b) your past injuries (e.g. traumas/losses) and how they affected you (c) your emotional world (e.g. your past hurts and how your family handled various emotions),

(d) your life mission and desired legacy, and (e) who you want to become and the demons you struggle with.

Write down your answers separately, then exchange notes, and discuss what it means for you individually and as a couple.

The aim of these exercises is to deepen your mutual understanding. Revisit the exercises and your notes to stay updated over time.

2BUILD FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION FOR EACH OTHER

The book cover several exercises to build your reservoir of positive feelings for your spouse and relationship,reinforce your understanding and fond memories of your history as a couple and focus on your partners positive points.

3TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER (INSTEAD OF AWAY)

Happily-married couples dont rely on romantic getaways or expensive gifts to sustain their relationship. They habitually turn toward each other in their daily interactions, e.g. making time to call each other, doing shopping together

To revive the romance in your marriage, the first step is to stop taking your daily interactions for granted.

This book, explain various ways to develop the habit of turning toward each other, building a positive emotional bank account,& deepening your emotional connection.

4 LET YOUR PARTNER INFLUENCE YOU

When making decisions, most women naturally consider their husbands feelings and opinions, while men dont intuitively do the same.

Gottman found that in the long-run, the happiest and most stable marriages are those where the couple works as a teamthey consider each others perspectives/feelings and seek common ground where theres a disagreement.

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